At a meeting yesterday, a therapist talked about how children learn the basic rules of life—my actions are reciprocated by someone else’s reaction. Treat someone kindly, and kindness comes back to you. Do something hurtful and the loop of positive feedback is broken, often to your detriment.
He described 10 second long films researchers made of mothers and babies interacting. Within this brief period, the mother makes 8 or 10 micro responses—looking at the baby, adjusting the child in her arms, opening her shoulder towards the child. Multiply these micro responses by 365 days over 4-6 years and a child develops healthy attachment to others, innately understanding that one’s… read more